“Authenticity is the capacity to be in touch with ourselves and to be able to express and manifest who we are in our relationships and social interactions.” Dr. Gabor Mate

More frequently than not, people seeking therapy acknowledge that authenticity can be a struggle as they experience self-imposed high expectations and pressure to fit in. How to be the perfect parent, spouse, friend, child, or professional are scripts that can make us feel like we are living in an aimless existential loop.

Authenticity, or living by one’s true sense of what matters and is meaningful, significantly contributes to mental health and well-being. When I listen to my clients, explore their hopes and goals for initiating therapy, the profound connection between authenticity and mental health becomes clear. Either navigating depression and anxiety or moving forward after trauma and grief are deeply connected to how close to our hearts and minds are our choices and actions.

A fulfilling life.

Authenticity involves being genuine to oneself. It means living in a way that aligns with our core values, beliefs, and feelings rather than unconditionally adhering to external expectations. This concept is about being honest with ourselves; as a result, we experience our relationships as more honest, forgiving and reliable.

In the last few years, the conversation about the impact of social media and its curated versions of reality on people’s lives has become embedded in most therapy sessions.

We don’t need to be perfect to be loved and accepted. Life is messy, and relationships are even messier; connecting as the imperfect humans we are is a gift we can give ourselves and others.

Stress and Anxiety.

We feel safe when we freely express our emotions, dreams, and opinions, as they do not threaten our physical and emotional survival.

An environment that promotes authenticity can significantly reduce stress and anxiety. What happens when we try to conform to others’ expectations or create a mask to fit in? We are likely to experience internal conflict, stress, and even shame. This painful dissonance elicits fears and worries of being rejected.

When we strive to live more authentically, we align our actions with our true selves. Knowing that our actions and decisions reflect who we are makes us feel more at ease.

Meaningful Connections.

When we show up as what we believe to be our true selves, it helps build more trustworthy relationships because we are confident that the closest people appreciate us for who we are. This authenticity in relationships fosters stronger bonding, understanding, and consistent connection.

Conversely, relationships based on pretense or superficiality can be draining and unfulfilling, leading to burnout and isolation.

Embracing Authenticity

Take all the time you need to reflect on what matters to you, what brings meaning into your life, and your dreams and passions. Journaling, meditation, or talking with a trusted friend or therapist are great tools for helping you identify what feels truthful and honest.

Authenticity involves setting clear boundaries to prevent burnout and not lose yourself in relationships and roles.