Let’s talk.

Shared understanding

I have noticed that in the last decade, the number of men reaching out for mental health, sex therapy or couples therapy has increased. Anecdotally, I have also observed a similar trend in the number of men participating in yoga classes compared to when I started practicing yoga nearly 20 years ago.
According to some data collected by CAMH, between 2012 and 2022, there was a general surge in mental health service use across Canada. A 2024 report indicated that 42% of men now consider therapy a viable option, a significant rise from 28% in 2020.
However, many of the men contacting our mental health services prefer to work with a female psychotherapist. On some occasions, I have the opportunity to speak with them about the benefits of seeing a male therapist who can express the level of empathy, warmth, and compassion they seem to expect from a female therapist.
I understand that seeking therapy, for some men, is already a significant and anxiety-provoking step. Cultural expectations around strength, self-sufficiency, self-reliance, and emotional control can make it difficult to admit when something feels overwhelming.
Choosing the right male therapist can provide a unique sense of safety, understanding, and connection. It gives some men the opportunity to connect with another man, where they can be vulnerable without worrying about being judged or shamed.
This isn’t about saying men can only work with male therapists. Many men do transformative work with therapists of all genders. But there are specific reasons why some men might particularly benefit from opening up to another man for the first time.

Shared Lived Experience

Men are often shaped by similar social messages:
  • “Be strong.”
  • “Don’t cry.”
  • “Handle it yourself.”
  • “Vulnerability is weakness.”
A male therapist may personally understand the internal pressure to suppress emotions, constantly compete, or measure worth through achievement. This shared context can reduce the need to explain or justify certain experiences. Clients may feel more understood, seen, and validated more quickly.
That shared understanding can create an immediate sense of, “He gets it.”

Redefining Masculinity in Real Time

Many men struggle not just with anxiety, stress or depression, but with confusion about what it means to be a man today.
In my work as a psychotherapist, I encounter many men who feel caught between traditional expectations and evolving social, gender and cultural norms, which, in most cases, lead to relationship and parenting difficulties.

Working with a male therapist can allow clients to:

  • Explore their definition of masculinity.
  • Challenge rigid beliefs about strength and control.
  • And most importantly, see vulnerability modelled by another man.
When a male therapist openly discusses emotions, accountability, empathy, or fear, he demonstrates that masculinity and emotional awareness are not opposites. They can coexist. That’s what creates space for real-time changes!

A Safe Space to Practice Emotional Expression

For some men, therapy is the first place they’ve ever spoken honestly about:
  • Shame
  • Failure
  • Loneliness
  • Relationship struggles
  • Sexual concerns
  • Fatherhood fears
Opening up to another man can feel especially significant. In our work, we are fully aware that many men have never had emotionally intimate conversations with male peers. Therapy becomes a landscape for practicing emotional language and developing comfort with it.
Over time, this skill often extends beyond the therapy room.

The Importance of Vulnerability With Other Men

While therapy is powerful, the benefits deepen when vulnerability extends into everyday life.

Breaking Isolation

Male loneliness is more common than many realize. Men often bond through activities, such as sports, work, and hobbies, rather than through emotional disclosure, and rarely talk about what’s really happening inside.
When men begin being honest with other men about stress, insecurity, or pain, something shifts:
  • Isolation decreases.
  • Shame loses its grip.
  • An authentic connection becomes more possible.

Modelling Emotional Courage

Vulnerability is contagious. When one man speaks openly about his struggles, it permits others to do the same.
Emotional courage doesn’t weaken respect; rather, it strengthens it. Authenticity builds trust.

Stronger Relationships and Leadership

Men who develop emotional awareness and expressiveness tend to:
  • Communicate more effectively in relationships.
  • Handle conflict more constructively.
  • Parent with greater empathy
  • Lead with clarity rather than ego.
Vulnerability enhances—not diminishes—strength. It allows men to respond thoughtfully rather than react defensively.

Therapy as a Starting Point, Not the Finish Line

For some men, working with a male therapist is the first experience of being emotionally seen by another man without judgment or competition. That experience can rewrite internal narratives about what is acceptable to feel and express.
But the ultimate goal isn’t dependence on therapy, but instead is about:
  • Being able to say “I’m struggling” to a friend.
  • Asking for help without shame.
  • Offering support to another man who needs it.
When men allow themselves to be vulnerable, whether with therapists or others, they don’t lose strength. They gain depth, resilience, and authentic connection.